I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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