i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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