I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
