it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
