omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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