after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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