Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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