So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
