I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
