well he's currently spooning the coffee table
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
