just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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