Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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