At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
