I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
