Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
