He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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