Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
