its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
