This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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