Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
