btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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