If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
