is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
