I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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