Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
