sarcasm needs its own font
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
