Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
