Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

(713): View more from Texas

I'm coming over.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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(314): View more from Missouri

like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

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(616): View more from Michigan

he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...

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(813): View more from Florida

She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.

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