felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize