I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
