Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
