I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
