dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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