he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize