If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
