Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
