i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
