dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
