Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
