you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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