Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
