i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
