I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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