you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
