Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
