I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
