It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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