You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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