So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
