I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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