and you said cock pushups were impossible
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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