he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
