I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
