oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
did i just pee glitter
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
