I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
