You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
