I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
