Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
