Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
MIDGETS
????
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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