I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
