covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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