My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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